Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,
From a systemic perspective, even though we are not directly attacked, we are still at war.
I will devote the next few posts to describing how you can help yourself and others in the situation we find ourselves in by using intervention and supportive thinking.
Today for PEOPLE HELPING.
We often think of people who help as the stronger ones. However, their strength does not come from nothing. Firstly, they are goal-oriented, secondly, they must have a base. The base in a situation of danger likes to disappear, so the focus on the goal remains. Beneficial and pernicious. Such a person may not be able to ask for support, he is in a role. Often it is socially reinforced in an indirect way, they are simply delegated to subsequent tasks and they take on more of them anyway.
Therefore, when helping, remember not to burn out.
BASE:
1. We do not act alone, we look for support in the form of family, friends, social group, team.
2. We measure our strength against intentions. We help adequately to our capabilities. We do not weaken ourselves.
3. We look for structures and organizations that provide financial support. We are not in a hurry to help until we know that we can handle it emotionally, mentally or financially.
4. We remember that as elements of the system, we are an important part of it. A system is only as strong as its individual components.
5. We look for support in trustworthy people. We are wary of people who have been toxic to us before. We do not allow people who have hurt us into our lives. Otherwise, we will break our own base.
6. We pay attention to the amount of sleep, what we eat, warmth, peace, we dose the amount of information we receive. We are goal-oriented, we don’t take on too much. This will make us more effective.
7. We remember the structure of the day that we had before. We know what we can come back to to relax.
8. As far as possible, we do not quit our own work. We negotiate its terms if necessary.
9. We prepare for later, e.g. by doing some training, being adequately familiar with the subject.
10. We are base oriented, so we try to be where we can feel safe. We increase the comfort zone as much as possible.
11. We do not burden ourselves with what is unnecessary. We leave unnecessary ballast.
12. We make a plan, e.g. in a calendar, give ourselves a moment to breathe, drink water, exchange a few sentences in a relaxed way, without focusing only on the information that reaches us.
13. We are waiting for government guidelines and statements, we do not act alone on impulse.
14. We refrain from panicking. It’s better to hug someone, eat something and stick to your daily routine (washing the floor, for example, is always useful, not only when there are children. Once a day;)) We don’t OCD ourselves. We act rationally and look for our own balance.
15. If you experience sleep disorders, eating disorders, weight loss, anxiety, it is worth thinking about supporting yourself as part of psychotherapy and/or consultation with a psychiatrist or your family doctor.
16. If there are people we help with us, we may record the information they provide. It is likely that these people will be shocked. The saved information will be useful, for example, when the recipients of aid are looking for their family. Notes can also be useful for analyzing needs for later. If someone is in a state of shock, etc., it is worth thinking about reporting the information to the police or appropriate intervention services.
IMPORTANT: people in better mental condition will very quickly look for a way to become independent, they will look for a job. Others may require longer help and space for their emotions.
Let’s not give in to our fears. Let’s take care of them and act.
And how to help? Volunteering within selected structures (foundations, etc.), financially, looking for e.g. collections for clothing, Facebook groups, etc. If we don’t know something, let’s accept it. Crisis Intervention Centers (in Krakow there is one on Radziwiłłowska Street), helplines, and the police are all about knowledge. You have to look and be patient.
Paulina Kubś, MA
https://youtu.be/Qiu3rvYveSg
