The false self is a façade defensive personality that develops as a result of suppressing the true self. It develops in childhood during adaptation to the requirements of the environment. The creator of this concept is the British psychoanalyst and pediatrician Donald W. Winnicott.
Causes of false self
A false self is a defense mechanism against rejection and criticism. Its development is facilitated by problems in the family and the environment, such as:
- perfectionism – exorbitant demands make being perfect a condition for being loved in the eyes of a child,
- emotional or physical violence – putting on a “mask” makes it easier to cope with pain,
- strict rules – the need to meet them forces you to suppress your own needs and emotions,
- neglect – lack of a sense of love on the part of caregivers makes the child create an ideal “I” in the imagination to feel more valuable,
- traumatic experiences – for example, alcoholism in the family or bullying by peers.
The Impact of the False Self on Life
False self means suppression of an authentic personality, which is why it promotes the development of emotional and mental problems. Constant adaptation to the expectations of the environment is a source of tension, sadness and frustration. It can lead to depression, neurosis, psychosomatic disorders and difficulties in building and maintaining interpersonal relationships.
The best form of help is psychotherapy, which helps you discover authentic feelings and needs. For example, psychodynamic therapy, in which the therapist helps the patient to notice unconscious desires – the source of internal conflicts and stress – brings very good results. Cognitive-behavioral therapy or Gestalt therapy can also be used.